• Pablo Lario

13 Reasons Why

What just happened? Can someone explain what I just witnessed? Is this even football?

For sure, this is not something you and I are used to, especially with bores like the Champions League and Nations League finals. But wait! You might be asking yourself: what am I talking about? Very easy...

13 Reasons Why the United States is going to win the current Women's World Cup in France. Literally! Thirteen are the balls that Thailand had to pick up from the back of their net Monday night, as North America made history. How do we start this delicate topic?

The United States Women's team have achieved the biggest win in World Cup history! After dropping 13 goals on helpless Thailand.

The big star of the show was Alex Morgan, who led her teammates with 5 goals in her personal account. She's now the top scorer of the tournament. With only one game played? Blood of Jesus! A resounding 13-0 in favor of the Stars and Stripes. With this, they leave behind the mark that Germany had with an 11-0 against Argentina in the Group Stage of the Women's World Cup in 2007. I still can't believe it...

With these 5 goals against Thailand, the historic USA forward becomes the second USA player to score a "hand" of goals in one single World Cup match. The first to achieve this was Michelle Akers.

In addition, Alex Morgan reached 107 goals with the United States and thus also tied Michelle Akers in fifth place in the scoring list.

It all begun with the United States dominating the game from minute one of the game, the first goal arrived later than expected, twelve minutes in, Alex Morgan was clinical against Thailand's goalkeeper, Charoen... (I can't pronounce it), and opened the scoreboard. Lavelle scored the second in the 20th minute, followed by lethal goalscorer thunder, Lindsey Horan, after a free kick pass, before the end of the first half.

3-0? In the first half? That doesn't sound that b... 10 GOALS IN THE SECOND ONE!?

The second half became a pure goal party... But for the United States, who completely demolished Thailand that couldn't do anything to stop them. Goal after goal... Sam Mewis scored the 4th, and then, 3 more goals came in succession. Morgan, Mewis, and Lavelle: One after the other.

At the end, I think everyone lost count. With the Thailand defense completely torn apart, Morgan obtained her hat-trick in the 74th minute, after a beautiful shot placed on the top corner. Megan Rapinoe, Pugh and two more from Morgan looked like the end to the party (12-0). But that wasn't all (More? F***** Jesus Christ!)

Carli Lloyd who was desperately looking to join her teammates in celebration scored her goal in the 92nd minute. With this, the United States earn 13 poi... I mean 3 easy points against a poor Thailand, and are at the top of Group F, with Sweden behind in 2nd place.

The USWNT, however, has been heavily criticized for the manner in which they celebrated their goals. Against a vastly inferior Thailand, the North American players celebrated each of the 13 goals like a 90th minute winner.

As great as their play was, we would like to see more humility and grace from a team that is so dominant. Former Canadian midfielder Clare Rustad said: ‘Celebrating goals later in the game like this is just completely unnecessary… what is this?’. And she's right there is absolutely no reason to rejoice in your superiority when a team is as badly beat as Thailand were last night. We hope to see a more sportsman-like conduct from this team next time.

Still, I'm scared, and everyone should be scared of this team. Watch out world: The United States are here and they are here to win.

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