• Pablo Lario

Farewell Cowboy

*****

Sniff, Sniff... I'm not crying, OK? I'M NOT CRYING!!!


What can I say? WOW! That... WAS AWESOME! Toy Story 3? THEY JUST BEAT YO A**, LOTS-O'! YOU TOO, SID!

I don't know why so many people thought this movie was going to be a complete meltdown, "trash" as Forky likes to say (Who's Forky? You'll see), even a ridicule or an insult to the franchise, which many thought should have ended with number '3'. I'm here to prove you wrong (at least try) and also show the rest of you (YES! YOU! THE ONE WATCHING NETFLIX ON THE PHONE! YOU!) who haven't watched it because you're still deciding whether to keep your money to watch 'YESTERDAY' (Yes, that Beatles are gone from the world movie) or even Will Smith's "Prince of Bel-Arabia". Don't worry, 'Toy Story 4' is your best bet this summer. So go, and give all your money to Disney, whether it's Spider-Man, Toy Story, or the upcoming Lion King. Oh, boy! I'M EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!

Now, it's my time to tell you why Pixar has reached animation heaven once again and made a successful movie that clearly played with that little mother f***** that takes too many tears from us: NOSTALGIA! YOU CLEARLY CAN'T MISS OUT!

The film doesn't start from where we left off in the 3rd instalment of the franchise; instead, it goes back 9 years to the past, to a cold and wet night in the Davies' house (Andy's home if you didn't know his surname... Amateurs). While the humans are not looking, the toys (Woody, Buzz, Jessie and Co.) prepare a mission, with the help of Bo Peep and Molly's toys (Andy's sister... Amateurs), to rescue RC, the mythical toy car that helped Buzz and Woody to save the rest of the gang from the moving van in the 1st film, who's being swept away by the rain. The mission is a success, however, the whole flashback scene wasn't focused on making a couple of RC fans happy... No, my man.

The scene ended with lots of drama and as a perfect explanation of why one of the most iconic characters in Toy Story 1 didn't feature in the 2nd and 3rd instalments. You are really wondering who I'm talking about, right? ...

OK, I'll tell you. Don't want you to bite your hands away.

Little Bo Beep, Woody's true love, was taken away (alongside with Fred, Max, and Tony? Sorry, guys! Wait! The three sheep are girls?) in a box, somewhere far, far, far, far, far, far, far... AWAY, OK!? It was sad to see Bo leave Woody, who tried to save her from her fate, but, we all knew they were going to reunite. So, no "so long partner" for her. Haven't you seen that she's in the poster?

After the "try to be dramatic" flashback scene, me, alongside my brother/editor and the rest of my family were eating popcorn while delighting our eyes with Andy playing with his toys until giving them to Bonnie, before going to uni, just like how the 3rd movie ended. MOVIE STARTS! GET READY! (I THOUGHT IT ALREADY STARTED... GET F****** READY!)

Two years after "When Lots'o' tried to kill Woody and the rest in the dumps" event happened, Bonnie, Woody and the other toys are happy in their new life. This is a new film, however and, obviously, a problem needs to arise for our favourite toy heroes to have an adventure. Bonnie is about to start kindergarten, but she's not prepared at all. She's just a poor little girl. Worried that Bonnie will feel overwhelmed at her kindergarten orientation, Sheriff Woody (Whom Bonnie hasn't recently been playing with... OUCH!) sneaks into her backpack to make sure she's OK during her first day of school.

When she arrives, Bonnie is very nervous and almost cries after a classmate discards her arts and crafts supplies when the teacher ask the other children to create something and use their imagination (I know I cannot insult, but that little kid... HE'S A SON OF A B***! DON'T MESS WITH MY BONNIE!). Woody, as the good toy he's always been (even if Bonnie doesn't care about him too much anymore), recovers some of the materials from the "trash" (Key word. You'll see), along with a spork (No need to explain what this is, right?). Thanks to the mysterious help of "someone we all know", Bonnie turns the spork into a handmade toy she names "Forky". Thanks to the new toy, Bonnie becomes much happier, even tells her parents how she survived kindergarten... Bonnie, you know that was only orientation, right?

Funny thing is, when Forky joins Woody in the backpack, the Sheriff starts talking to him and finally realises that Forky is... WHAT!? HE'S ALIVE!? At Bonnie's house, Woody, the fugitive explains everything to his friends and introduces them to Bonnie's new friend (Oh! She's already making new friends... NO! SHE LITERALLY MADE ONE!), Forky. The half spoon half fork experiences an existential crisis, believing that he was made to be trash and not a toy. With Forky having become Bonnie's favourite toy, Woody has to continually prevent him from throwing himself away. Even on Bonnie's family's road trip (Oh, yeah! Bonnie's parents decided to go on a trip as she still has one more week left before starting hell... I mean kindergarten), Woody has to do so. Every time Forky had the chance, Woody was like "Oh, well... Here we go again": TRASH! COME HERE! TRASH! COME HERE! TRASH! COME HERE!!! (It was hilarious!)

In the end, Forky wins the "trash battle" and jumps out of the van's window, with Woody subsequently following him out. With Woody and Forky completely lost, the old cowboy starts trying to convince Forky of his new role as a toy rather than a spoon/fork to eat with and be thrown away afterwards (That spaghetti was delicious), but it still doesn't work. Then, good ol' Woody tells Forky the story of his life... Well, the story of him and Andy, his loyal friend. Thanks to this story, Forky, somehow, finally becomes enthusiastic about being Bonnie's toy after Woody tells Forky that he makes Bonnie feel the way trash makes Forky feel (I don't know if saying "I'm Bonnie's trash" are the right words, Forky).

When both toys are about to get to the RV park motel, where Bonnie and the rest of the gang are, Woody spots something no one could have expected (Thanks poster!): Bo's lamp in an antique store window. BO? BO, BO, BO, BO! (Classic, Forky) Obviously, they're loyal toys to Bonnie, right? Let's get into the antique store!

The antique store is as creepy as it could be, all shadowy and dark, with no one to be seen; until... (I love suspense)

While searching for Bo inside, the cowboy and spoon/fork/whatever encounter a doll named Gabby Gabby, who looks like a mixture between Annabelle and Vito Corleone (Very creepy) and her sycophant ventriloquist's dummies, the Bensons (HOLY S***! THOSE GUYS WERE SCARY!). Gabby, very nicely, offers to take them to Bo, but soon she reveals her true plan to obtain Woody's voice box since her own is broken and no child will purchase her (She's obsessed with this girl called Harmony... But we will talk about that later).

Of course, Woody tries to flee the place with Forky (IT'S MY VOICE BOX, YOU B***!), but they are separated: Woody escapes from the dummies (thanks to Harmony) and Gabby captures Forky (NOOOO!). With the idea of rescuing Forky and taking him to Bonnie's alive, Woody escapes and ends up at a random playground, where "by fate" and "a lot of f***** luck" reunites with Bo and her sheep Billy, Goat, and Gruff (YES! FINALLY GOT THE NAMES RIGHT! THANKS, GOOGLE!). However, Bo is completely different from what Woody remembers: She now lives the free lifestyle of a "lost" toy, with her sheep and a mini police officer called Giggle McDimples. After a romantic, but awkward reunion, Woody asks Bo for help as she agrees to help him save Forky and get back to Bonnie. Yi-HAH!

Meanwhile, Buzz starts listening to his "inner voice" for guidance (a.k.a the button-induced phrases from his own voice box) and decides to search for his friend on his own. The plan doesn't end well, however, as Buzz ends up finding himself as a carnival prize in a fairground between the RV park and the antique store. That's where the main stars of the film appear: Ducky and Bunny! The two characters are hilarious, especially thanks to their voice actors, Keegan-Michael Key (Ducky) and Jordan Peele (Bunny), who start a fight with Buzz to be the first prize... SURREAL! But, they finally end up helping him to escape. They even find Woody! (Actually, that was thanks to the voice box... I mean Buzz's inner voice)

Just like Woody and Bo met earlier (Mainly by pure luck), Buzz and the two annoying but hilarious Ducky and Bunny join the rescue team to save Forky from Gabby Gabby and the Bensons. In the meantime, Gabby shows Forky how she's really not an evil toy, and that she's looking for love and affection from Harmony (Ho, ho, ho... You'll see). But, to succeed in this rescuing plan, the toys need the help of the amazing, most powerful, and freaking breathtaking... KEANU REEVES! (ACTUALLY, I MEANT TO SAY CANADIAN STUNTMAN DUKE CABOOM!) The guy is awesome, but has some problems, because flashbacks of a previous life of disappointment with his kid, Réjean, haunt him (he underperformed ok, it happens to everyone). Bo finally convinces him and the plan is on, baby! However, things don't turn up as expected (Thank God Ducky and Bunny didn't steal the key of the store by punching the old lady when she was sleeping at her house). The plan completely fails, with all toys tired, a grumpy cat almost killing them, and Gabby and the Bensons still holding Forky hostage.

Here's when the dramatic part of the movie comes, when the whole team breaks up with the hero, Woody, completely alone, on his own (Maybe he's alone because despite Woody's efforts to convince the group to try another rescue attempt, Bo, unwilling to risk the group's lives, angrily leaves with the others after Woody indirectly insults her. (IT WAS THE INSULT, WOODY! IT WAS THE INSULT!). With everyone gone, Woody goes back to the store to save his friend Sporky... I mean Forky, encountering Gabby Gabby and those 4 creepy dudes again. After an offer he cannot refuse, Woody gives his voice box to Gabby (to succeed on her dream to belong to Harmony) in exchange for Forky. We're near the end, guys! Prepare your handkerchiefs, because there are going to be tears!

After everyone reconciles with their own feelings, Woody and Forky enter Bonnie's backpack in order to escape, Bo and the rest are going to rescue Woody, and, oh well... Forky. Woody sees how Harmony doesn't give a f*** about Gabby, throwing her away. Being the honourable toy he is, Woody sends Forky back alone, with a message for Buzz, Jessie, and the rest of Bonnie's toys to meet him at the carnival's carousel, as he's trying to comfort Gabby, even inviting her to become one of Bonnie's new toys. Mission "Find Gabby Gabby a new home" is on!

Bo and her friends return to help, and they head for the carnival, while Trixie and the others impersonate the van's GPS and manipulate the controls, in order to get them to the carnival (For some reason, Buttercup was obsessed with getting Bonnie's dad into jail. What's wrong with you, toys!?). Now is when you need to prepare your handkerchiefs, OK?

When Gabby sees a crying girl lost in the carnival, she decides to become that child's toy; taking responsibility for Gabby, the girl approaches a security guard and is reunited with her parents. Sniff, Sniff... I'M NOT CRYING! And then, finally at the carousel, Woody and Bo share a bittersweet goodbye. But, realising Woody feels torn, Buzz tells him that Bonnie will be okay without him. Deciding to stay with Bo, Woody embraces his old friends' farewell and gives Jessie his sheriff badge. The RV departs and Bonnie's toys leave with her. So long, partner... (Waah, Waah, Waah! DON'T LEAVE, WOODY!) And that's it: THE END? JK! THERE'S MORE!

In mid-credits scenes, Woody, Bo, Giggle, Duke, Ducky, and Bunny travel with the carnival, helping children win prize toys, while, on her first day of first grade, Bonnie makes another new toy: a female plastic knife, to whom Forky eagerly introduces himself. And she says TRASH! (Here we go again...) I'm unsure if this is the real farewell of Woody and the gang or if there's something else waiting for us. Anyways, the toy story ends with many open possibilities for the future of the franchise, so if they do something... I'M GONNA WATCH IT! IT'S SAD BUT... I NEED MY DRUG!

The movie turned out to be an incredible thrill-ride, Pixar once again proves why they are the best animation company in the world, their movies are as enjoyable for kids as they are for adults and Toy story 4 could well be their best movie yet. I highly recommend going to give all your money to Disney this summer because they've done an excellent job here. It is incredible Pixar's ability to make us connect with animated characters just as if they were flesh and bone. Toy Story 4 is an amazing conclusion to the best animation saga in the history of cinema (I can't stop crying). FAREWELL COWBOY.

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