• R.T. Firefly

I SAW ”VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA” AND IT'S FUNNIER THAN “SHARKNADO”. The Watch Express Review


Ok. I know. Making a review of this movie now doesn’t make sense. But at the time I decided not to watch it; I thought that a movie with such an idiotic name couldn’t be good. After all the awards and nominations I still refused to watch it. But yesterday I decided to give it a go, as maybe I was wrong. Oh, brother.


Take two American girls in Barcelona. In a restaurant they meet a Spaniard with a silk red shirt (standard dress code of an average Spanish man), who tells them he likes them and want to have sex with them and invite them to fly to Oviedo in his plane. Cristina (Scarlett Johansson looking as if she is going to have a spontaneous orgasm any minute) feels interested, Vicky hates the idea. So they both go. Absolutely normal. We see them in a 2x2 private plane were not even the camera men have room to breath.


Once in Oviedo Javier Bardem has sex with Vicky just because, and after coming back to Barcelona starts a relationship with Cristina. They both cycle, make loads of photos and listen to the same guitarist they listen to in Oviedo ( because there is only one guitarist in the whole of Spain and he moves around the country to play I guess). Finally they meet Bardem's ex wife and they start a trio. Penelope Cruz with a fake wig arrives, screams, shoots with a gun and screams a little bit more (standard behaviour of an average Spanish woman) and the Americans leave the country. (Thank God).


Barcelona is always empty, not a soul around, the camera (only one) balances like a drunk in a boat and the same flamenco piece is repeated in a loop ( standard music option of an average Spanish city) . The best part of the movie is the voice over. Basically an unknown guy who explains what you are already watching, such as:”Juan Antonio went to walk with Cristina to the street and seat in a cafeteria to drink a coffee ” , while you can see Juan Antonio and Cristina doing exactly that. In case you couldn’t believe your eyes. I couldn’t.


I have to think Harvey Weinstein must have owned everyone in Hollywood to impose this garbage upon the academy and viewers alike. The movie is BAAAAAD. It is so bad that at a certain point you and your friends can start to make funny comments and end up having a great time. Much funnier that “Sharknado”.

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